A Pink Surprise
Last weekend, in celebration of our anniversary, my husband surprised me with an impromptu trip to Edmonton for the Pink concert.
What can I say, he does have his fleeting moments of redemption.
Seriously though, it was truly a great weekend. Everything was perfect. From the mouth watering pre-concert Italian meal at Bianco, to the luxurious stay at the historical and apparently haunted, Fairmont Hotel. A great concert, then, a delicious breakfast, after a 40 min wait, for a table - at De Dutch in downtown Edmonton.
I sat down to write something poignant and meaningful - But today those kinds of words escape me. This week has been a busy one.
Not too busy, but busy enough, with a couple of photo sessions, some inquiries, a few quotes, texts and emails. When there are none of those things, business is grim, and self esteem hitting rock bottom is just around the corner. So I shall bask in the tedious non fun end of this business, which eventually rolls into creative opportunities and getting to do what I love, which is take pictures.
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Today, anxiety is at an all time high. I chalk it up to an impending weekend wedding photo job. This anxiety thing is nothing new. It’s how I dysfunctionally operate.
Ah the life of a self employed creative. Good times.
I despise the fact that the first week of September is already drawing to a close. Don’t get me wrong, I love fall. Warm and golden light, orange and brown hues. And just the right amount of warm and cool. Thankfully, here in the Sask everything is still green, so I can mind f*ck myself into thinking it’s still summer. I just don’t love the seasonal impending doom. The fact that fall, tumbles into winter. Submerging us into dark frigid days, that seem endless. The deep darkness of winter.
Alas, the downward spiral has begun. It’s cold enough in the mornings that I have resorted to sitting inside for the morning coffee and writing. I can feel myself grasping at summer moments, as it’s slowly slipping away.
Deny, deny, deny.
Garlic hangs to dry in our kitchen. A sure sign of fall.
The Anniversary
Last weekend, in celebration of our anniversary, my husband surprised me with an impromptu trip to Edmonton for the Pink concert.
What can I say, he does have his fleeting moments of redemption.
Seriously though, it was truly a great weekend. Everything was perfect. From the mouth watering pre-concert Italian meal at Bianco, to the luxurious stay at the historical and apparently haunted, Fairmont Hotel. A great concert, then, a delicious breakfast, after a 40 min wait, for a table - at De Dutch in downtown Edmonton.
Pink Concert Common Wealth Stadium Edmonton AB
On the road back to S’toon, stopped in to see some good friends for a quick over night. Made our way home on labour day Monday.
Phew it was a busy one. Not one dull moment and some great memories made.
Espresso
Which leads me into next story about my somewhat impulsive buy, that I am not yet regretting.
I could not stop fantasizing about the frothy perfectly balanced espresso that the Nespresso machine brewed in our hotel room.
This is why my husband avoids taking me fancy places. It’s a worm hole of frivolous and unattainable future expectations.
So this morning while writing, and staring into nothingness while everyone else slept, I sipped on some deliciously frothy ‘kick ya in the ass’ espresso. Then I transitioned into some coffee. I am now level 10 caffeine overdosed, which is not helping my pre weekend, wedding photo job, anxiety.
Pray for me friends.
Until next time
xx Tam
Leaving you with some pics from the weekend -
Herded like cattle into the stadium
View from room 324 at the Fairmont Macdonald Hotel Edmonton
A Quiet House, Sunrise, and Pawprints
It’s within my very quiet house, I am reflecting on last weeks blissful chaos.
Finn the Wolfhound takes his morning nap on the couch
The house was full of family for an early Christmas where we could all be together. Mom and dad had flown in from British Columbia. My oldest son, his wife, and stepdaughter arrived from Alberta. My youngest son who works away, and his girlfriend. My husband who also often works away. My sister, and her two kids.
My 175 lb. Irish wolfhound decided it was the opportune moment to come down with some mouth issue that left him foaming and drooling exorbitant amounts of saliva, that inevitably flung itself all over floors, walls, ceilings, and unfortunately any guest in his line of fire.
In hindsight, my family may never come back.
It was loud and messy, and perfect. Minus the gob.
As a professional photographer, sometimes I don’t want to take a picture. Sometimes I just want to sit and enjoy this nanosecond in my life timeline and not have to worry about anything else but the people around me laughing, having fun, sipping their drinks, conversing in their own animated ways. Our family is rarely all together in one place, and with that in mind, there is something to be said for being present, and in the moment.
Not having my face stuck behind the camera, arranging a plethora of bodies in front of the tree while my camera balances on a tripod in some precarious location, with three dogs running about. And some candid shots? Nope, none of those either.
Not this gal. I’m just over here failing as a photographer and matriarch of my clan. Not taking one single photo of my family’s rare togetherness. My excuse - being caught up in the moment. Busy hosting shall we say. Cooking, doing dishes, straightening the dishevelled home and organizing the Christmas chaos. AND delving into this precious time with the fam ♡
Is this missed photo opp anxiety, a symptom of the fear mongering for the almighty social post?
I mean if it’s not on Instagram or Snapchat, did it really happen? Are we really happy? Did we have fun?
I can assure you, it did. We are, and yes it was fun.
So now here I dwell at my computer. The house desolate and still.
Family has all gone home. No sounds but the ringing in my ears and Finneus the Wolfhound licking his leg behind me on my office couch.
I should just be grateful he’s actually cleaning himself.
The stockings are hung by the fireplace with half hazard care. The red balls on the Christmas tree reflect the warm glow from the little tree lights.
Floors are vacuumed, dishes put away, and bedding has all been washed folded.
Except for those fitted sheets, those things are evil.
In the end all guest hosting paraphernalia has been tucked away in its rightful place, waiting for the next family gathering. Which is always way too far away for my liking.
Here are some photos that just happened this morning, in my quiet house full of Christmas spirit, sunrise, and dogs.
Sunrise view from the front deck of our home, here in Saskatoon
Muddy paw prints smear the back patio window.
Reflections of a empty and quiet kitchen in the glass of a picture on the wall
Looking through the double sided fireplace Finn the Irish Wolfhound sleeps on the couch
Undecided, Ayva stands half way in and half way out of the dog door
Some Essential Soul Work
This retreat was a first of it’s kind for me.
Guided healing, cleansing and sharing, (not so good at this kind of stuff). Emotionally exposing ones self, and getting into some deep rooted soul work, also something i truly suck at.
I laughed, I cried, and I opened up to women I just met. It was terrifying, humbling, and liberating all at the same time.
Marilyn, the facilitator of this healing retreat, created such a loving safe space for us to to all come together and dive into some soul work
She is also the owner and operator of her business Soul Essentials offering healing modalities from Reiki to chakra healing. Here is her link on Facebook
The retreat was held at this stunning 2 storey walk out over looking Echo lake in Qu’Appelle Valley.
The lake view from the back of the retreat lake house
Kitchen in our private little cabin
My good friend Rox and I decided to rent a private cabin for our weekend stay. We arrived the day before all the festivities. It was a short drive from the retreat location, and gave us some quiet time away from all the action to regroup and just do our own thing.
Because i’m rarely in front of a camera , here are some cell phone snaps below ~
A little wine, and a sunset dip.
Yours truly, taking a sunset swim in Echo Lake Qu’Apelle Valley - Video compliments of the lovely Rox
Waiting to Rewild with some ecstatic dance.
A bowl of pre-rolled joints being passed around to help ease the journey into some ecstatic dance.
Completely complimentary and voluntary.
Cana butter portioned out on spoons
The ladies of Soul Essentials Retreat June 2023
These beautiful souls have a piece of my heart
Jillian G.
Ah the whirlwind season of Graduation. If your a photographer who does grad sessions, you know.
June should be spelt Gune
Jilli bean, I have known this nugget since she was around 5.
So graduation photos for this lady was slightly surreal, in a how the hell is she adulting already way.
She’s wicked smart, artistic, funny, and kind. A true beauty in all the ways.
Luckily Jillian and I are a great match on the creative side of things. This shoot was beautiful and brilliant.
As you can see she’s a natural.
Boyfriend Beckett was a gem at going with the flow. - Thanks for your patience Mr. B
A quick little drop in by some of her besties, was such a blast. What a fun group!
Morgan B. Graduation
Some smiles and laughter, with Morgan and her family while snapping a few for her grade 12 graduation, amongst the vibrant colours and serene surroundings, of Saskatoon’s Forestry Farm.
I took some photos for her brothers grad a couple of years before, so it was slightly nostalgic to have the family in front of my lens once again.
Such an honour capturing this monumental milestone in Morgans life. Thanks again for having me xo.
Morgan and her mama
Daddy’s little girl gets a hug and a kiss from her father on her graduation day
The Styled Photography Session
Contrary to what I used to tell myself, I’m quite capable of styled shoots. They can be liberating, and inspiring. In the past I had expectations of the whole experience being mechanical and unfulfilling.
You, as the photographer and choreographer, are manipulating that narrative, your subject, and the vibe.
I felt like I was cheating on my non posed, on the fly - in the moment genre.
Styled or contrived
Contrived - To deliberately create, rather than arising naturally or spontaneously. Created or arranged.
Carolyn at the Lawrence House
Contrary to what I used to tell myself, I’m quite capable of styled shoots. They can be liberating, and inspiring. In the past I had expectations of the whole experience being mechanical and unfulfilling.
You, as the photographer and choreographer, are manipulating that narrative, your subject, and the vibe.
I felt like I was cheating on my non posed, on the fly - in the moment genre.
Elopement shoot model Kaytee stands gorgeous in this Daci Gown - Bouquet from Wild Bloom Tofino Hat - West Von
Styled Elopement Session Tonquin Beach B.C.
Styled sessions can also give a photographer the chance to collaborate with fellow photog’s. Showcasing locations, venues, stylists, florists, makeup artists, clothing lines you get the picture. This can broaden the reach to your preferred client base, create content and promote the style of photography you want to hone in on.
Also, it’s a shit ton of fun, and in this case, some pretty soul filling scenery, so theres that.
It’s a win win ..
Unless that’s not really the style of photography you are looking to promote. And then your just in it for the shits and giggles, with a creative splash of fellow photog camaraderie.
Which can be extremely therapeutic, causing you to run into the Pacific Ocean fully clothed.
Me - Image by the talented Robin Lafond
Quite often theses styled shoots take place with numerous photographers involved. You know the old saying, “too many cooks in the kitchen”
Everyone feverishly clicking away and directing poses, trying to capture one or two unique moments, the other 12 shutterbugs may have missed.
In the frenzy of it all, the chances of that happening seem pretty minuscule.
But everyone sees art in a different light, and so in the end there are usually a few moments captured that stand out to you as something you would want to call your own.
Now, where do you post all this beautiful content? When it’s not really what your photography brand is all about?
Or is it?
Well thanks, I thought you’d never ask. Why I post it on my instagram feed so I can further confuse my existing and future clientele as to what the hell I’m actually focusing on behind my lens.
Britt on Tonquin Beach
Jillian - Grid + Gertie Dress from Wild Gemini Dress Rentals
Post - Styled Photography Session
And so the battle goes of posting anything at all.
Step 1 -Torture yourself over which pictures best emanate your “photography style” whatever that is.
Step 2 - Agonize over crops, tones and finishes.
Step 3 - Close your eyes and commit. Slap those babies up on the old Instagram. Because it’s your work, and you are proud of those chosen few.
Step 4 - Don’t count the likes. Post what makes you happy. Hence my random and non conformed professional Insta feed.
In the end I always find myself longing for those impromptu happenings, those unscripted moments. Capturing a moment in time. And an opportunity to tell a story.
Those are the things that I love the most about pictures.
xx Td
Family Day Weekend And A Horse
Couple of weeks back my husband and I took a road trip out to see my son Dorian, and his fiancé Brie, in Whitecourt Ab. It’s a bit of a drive that’s for sure. Six hours and 48 mins to be exact.
Luckily (dripping sarcasm) I had just fallen down a flight of stairs the night before, sober I might add, and caused some major damage to myself. One of those injuries included a dislocated and badly bruised tail bone. So that six hours and 48 mins sitting on my assaulted ass, felt more like 60 hours and 48 mins.
Brie’s family was throwing them a surprise engagement party and they were so sweet to include us in the lies and deception. Shall we call us the decoys?
Plans well laid ..
Most of Brie’s family lives right there in Whitecourt. Which is pretty amazing that my son inherited this big beautiful family way out there in Alberta. He is surrounded by people that love him. What more can a mom wish for?
They live on a beautiful acreage just outside of town. It’s surrounded by forest and they even have a neighbours horse hanging in the backyard. Like come on.
The Bait
As you can see this horse became my muse for the weekend.
Should I be worried about this tongue thing?
Grand daughter Drew feeding Lightening the Horse an Apple
I should add that my son has also inherited 3 pretty awesome grown children, and one adorable granddaughter.
That’s right. He is grandpa Dorian. As his mom this is both bizarre and beautiful, all at the same time. This little spitfire has stolen his heart, and our hearts as well.
Fun fact this granddaughter and I share the same birthday.
The morning of this planned surprise was allegedly our leaving day. But our plan was that we wanted to go for a walk with Dorian and Brie before we left. You know, stretch legs, get some air, before the long drive.
This would give Brie’s family and friends time to swoop in, decorate, and lay out some brunch.
However dorian god bless him, decided to make us one last breakfast before we left. . Now time is of the essence and it was our only job, to have them leave the house when instructed.
It’s 10:10 am we are supposed to have them gone about 10 minutes ago.
Dorian is just cracking eggs. Oh boy. I believe I have fucked this day up and it’s not even noon.
Internally I’m panicking, hot flashes and twitchy agitation ensues. I’m putting the pressure on about having to leave and setting these anxiously rigid time lines, without being conspicuous of course..
Toast is still in the toaster.
Brie is very intuitive. She is going to know something is up, that, or, she will decide that her newly inherited mother in law is indeed a ridiculous, uncompromising psycho.
I text my contact for this mission, Brie’s oldest daughter Ally. I let her know we are behind schedule by at least half hour. I’ll text when the eagle flys. .
Finally dirty dishes left where they are, and pans still on the stove, we leave the house, I’m in a subdued panic.
Ally is sent the all clear. The eagle has left the nest.
Our walk although beautiful, ends up almost an hour long instead of the half hour scheduled. Well shit, I’m sure the whole entire family has decided Brad and I are incapable of following simple instructions.
We finally get back to the acreage, behind schedule is an understatement, and Brie’s spidey senses were tingling the whole time.
Better late then never?
Despite the morning panic and delayed start time, these two love birds were greeted with balloons, a champagne brunch, a plethora of family and friends, and a couple of afternoon card games. It was a perfect family day. Celebrating two amazing people, their love, and the joining of families.
It’s truly about the who, and not the what.
Hug your people, and hold them close. I hope your family day was as unscripted and full as ours.
Chilled mimosa cheers
xo td
Winter get away in Waskesiu
Wildlife, ghost town, scenic winter landscapes, frozen lakes and sprawling forests. A photographers dream really. Im not a travel writer, and I generally suck at logistic details, which doesn’t bode well when recommending and promoting destinations on the old social media vortex.
So please bear with me on this blog post.
A chance to just indulge in thine own creative self and make some pictures because i want to.
Not because there is some sort of looming client dead line or pay cheque attached.
Foot prints in the snow leading down to the snow covered beach leading to a snow covered Waskesiu lake
Every couple of years my husband and I take a little winter trip up to Waskesiu.
For those not familiar, its about 2 and a half hours (238 km) North of Saskatoon.
This year, like every year mid winter, it was much needed. Kind of like hitting a mini refresh button.
Kinda.
In the deep dark chill of winter, January can often feel like it’s 62 days long, instead of the actual 31. Especially when the temperature hovers in the -27 to -35 range for days on end.
A boatless and snow covered marina
As an Entrepreneur and creator, this time of year can also feel stagnant, uninspired, anxious. In my profession this is one of the quieter months. Which can work to a photographers advantage if you can get past all the other bullshit emotions that start to creep in.
Tree shadows on a snow covered beach lakeside Waskesiu Lake, PA National Park
An Elk standing on the road, pauses for a photo shoot. Thanks Elk
The bustling summer hamlet of Waskesiu is located within Prince Albert National Park. Not so bustling in the winter months.
Surrounded by Boreal forest, lakes, and campsites.
This snow covered and seemingly abandoned community does host a few winter wonderland visitors like us. And I far as I could tell, a small number of full time residents tucked in the back end of town, some RCMP, park staff.
But truly, its emptiness is eerie yet peaceful.
The pay phone.
Thanks to cell phones, here stands an archaic form of communication
A snow covered SaskTel payphone in the seasonal town of Waskesiu
A snow covered patio at the Patio Cafe in Waskesiu
We chose to stay at the Hawood Inn , located across the street from the lake.
In the winter it hosts winter wandering adventurists like myself and my husband, looking for a quick and affordable get away.
Staying at the Hawood Inn you have access to snowshoes and cross country skis and 2 roof top hot tubs. It’s located close to some groomed ski trails.
You are almost guaranteed to see some deer, fox, and if your lucky a few Elk.
Take the scenic route 263 past Emma and Christopher lake off of highway 2, into the park if your not afraid of some snowy roads.
So beautiful, and so close. Go take a tour, you won’t regret it.